A-parent-ly

Apparent, A-parent, a parent is something that we think is our source. Apparently, I came from Mom, apparently, my kids came from me. 

My daughter has complained the last two mornings because her older brother gets more scrambled eggs than she does. So two mornings in a row,  she has sat there without eating the eggs she has, complaining that there aren't enough. Today she said she had such a big appetite, and the amount she was given wasn't enough so she sat there refusing to touch what she had while it gets cold. I kept telling her, that there's no way I'm giving her more in the future if she doesn't even eat what she has. 

It occurred to me that this is exactly what we do to our Source when we compare ourselves and find ourselves lacking. Or when we feel lacking in any way. The eggs are right in front of us, we say we are hungry but we refuse to touch what's there. 

The apparent need is not the real need. The actual hunger has nothing to do with the hunger to feel as equal as another, to know our worth. But because this equality (the fairest of them all)  is prior to the manifestation of being treated as such, we cannot force, control, guilt or manipulate others to give us fair treatment. 

While writing this is occurred to me that I shame myself for my own desire for equality, thinking it's silly. My judgement of my daughter as being a brat in this situation glosses over the discord and strong annoyance I felt while it was happening. So I look for the mirror. She is smaller, she doesn't need as many eggs. She is an annoyance. But what she is really asking for, although bratty, is equality. It's fairness. It's the inherent knowing of her own worth. And in shaming ourselves for our own desire, whether at first it seems to be for more eggs or on closer inspection for fair treatment, we are unfair to ourselves. We refuse ourselves the eggs and the fairness. Nothing lets go of a desire like owning it, not trying to own it as in screaming to get the more eggs, or the superficial manifestation, but owning it. 

Like Nisargadatta says, stay with "I am". Like Jesus, says, seek first the kingdom of heaven. Like Louise Hay says, approve of yourself, like Abraham Hicks says, get in the Vortex and then.